It's starting to seem like you're nothing in Hollywood without a mug shot and/or a sex tape. (I'm proud to say, for the record, I have neither and intend to keep it that way!) This past week we added Shia LaBeouf and Mickey Rourke to the first category and now dubious American reality celebrities Spencer Pratt and Lauren Conrad have joined the rumour mill concerning the second category. Well, if it's good enough to include Scott Stapp, Paris Hilton, Rob Lowe, Kelsey Grammar and Kid Rock...it's certainly good enough for those two. But heck, I know cameras are everywhere these days--including our computers and phones--but is business in the bedroom so boring for these people that they have to spice it up with added voyeurism?

It may not be Merriam-Webster, but even Wikipedia has a definition for Celebrity Sex Tape. For your edification: "A celebrity sex tape is a home video of sex acts, as performed by a celebrity and his or her partner, which finds Internet and/or bootleg distribution and made available to an audience for which it was not supposedly intended."

"Supposedly intended!?" Why make one at all, I ask!? Are these famous folks so completely insecure with themselves that they can't even have intimate, carnal relations without a recording device being used!? Is it Videotape a form of Viagra?! If you're really dying to see yourself in the act, go retro and have some mirrors installed on the bedroom ceiling!

I'm glad Eva Longoria spoofed the trend with her own comedic one that was certainly NOT sexy, but had the tabloids all worked up with anticipation for a hours. Will Ferrel's "Funny or Die" comedy website has a funny takeoff on the phenomenon with Shakespearean actors theatrically reading transcripts of the Colin Farrel/Nicole Narain tape.

Have you ever actually seen any of these tapes? I'm fortunate enough to have missed out on "One Night in Paris," but I did get a screening of the Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee epic.

I have to say, I'd prefer to stick with the satire versions. More entertaining. For years, Hollywood urban legend claimed that screen goddesses Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield and Joan Crawford all had, at early stages of their careers, made "stag" films. Young Sylvester Stallone even made a low budget soft core flick that was re-released and retitled "The Italian Stallion," once he made it big. Once his career took off, I should say.

In this YouTube Universe, anyone can be an instant Coppola or Scorcese. Video Blogs are everywhere. Closed circuit cameras are poised upon us in every elevator, shopping mall and freeway. If there is one place left on earth we may actually be safe from the prying eyes of a camera lens, it may indeed by our own bedrooms. So, attention celebrities and celebrity-wannabes: let's keep it that way!