Hey, and welcome back. I promised you the conclusion to the thrilling tale of how Speaker and I met, and I'm delivering for you right now! Not only that, more messages between RB and Malick/Fixit/Ironman have been bounced back and forth - decoders have deduced that RB is somewhere in a major US city, about to meet Malick! I'll be sharing my theories of the fallout from the Sri Lanka video throughout this week, spreading them out to give you something to think about during your day. Not only that, but DJ Dan has had a change of time - to something that will suit a lot more of us Aus ninjas...
DJ Dan's LIVE podcast - The DJ Strikes Back - is now happening for East Coast Aus ninjas at 1pm Monday 25th. Hanso can't hold this truth warrior down - he's back for another round, and we'll all be listening in. Prepare for mass messenger madness!A bunch of people have uploaded their picture of WhereIsAlvar, which is great. Those of you still waiting for it to come through, it can take a few days, but if it said your pic is approved, it'll be there. I can't wait to see who gets the first pic from SA...
As you can tell from the first pic, I found myself in a terrible position when I awoke from NegaSpeaker's Nipple Cripple From Hell. I was being tortured with ballet films; Nega was using same techniques he had used to turn Speaker to the dark side, only modified for NDNA (NinjaDNA)
While I was only beginning my battle with the demon within, Speak was deep within his own personal hell. Being but a shadow, he often found himself questioning who he truly was. Through sick, twisted brain-washing, Nega had forced Speaker's very form to split and begin arguing among his own personalities - about his very favourite thing in EVERY catergory. Surely this would damn our multi-headed hero to an eternity of bickering?
Amazingly, it was not to be. Speaker found his one true answer to all questions in record time; years of forum lurking and boar hunting had prepared him for this very moment. Slamming all three heads together with his palms wide open, using all the force he could muster, crackles of energy began to rip through the darkness, causing explosions all around. Speaker began his regeneration.
And then went and put out a call online for help.
Increduously, Nega had been so preoccupied with torturing me he had failed to notice Speaker breaking free of his tricks. Calling to Speaker, he told him to rally the troops and go pillage the local village. While the rest of his troops talked tactics, Speaker sat alone and came up with a plan. He would charge ahead of them, racing through the village with a mighty battle cry, until he reached a point where he could safely retaliate and muster the locals. With a call of "Alright chumps, times up. SPEAKER JENKINS!", he screamed out the door.
It was a good thing he'd raced ahead, as the help he'd called for had arrived - Captain Malvar with his "little friend!" *please note this is Malvar, not Alvar Hanso. Good Twin?* With little effort, Malvar ensured Speaker's safety, as well as those of his attackers - Malvar only endorses rubber bullets, kids.
Now, here's where details get a little fuzzy for me. Malvar put his coat back on, insisting Speaker put on Billie Piper's parka and announcing he's the next companion. Speaker audibly shouts "w00t!" and gets in Dr Malvar's Re-Tardis and off they pop through time, all Peabody and Mr Sherman-like. They ran into problems though. See, turns out Malvar is just as crazy a scientist. His time machine doesn't work.
As you can see. 
By this time, I'd managed to escape myself and was in the midst of battle with a giant. Not The Giant, just a giant. I could take him, but The Giant? I'm not so sure... Good thing it was just a giant and I was able to dispatch of him with little effort. Few chops here, couple of kicks there. I'm pretty quick so, you know...
As I knocked him cold with a middle finger flick to the jaw, I heard a branch crack behind me. I turned just in time to see Nega activate his holo-suit. Despite all my training and best ninja efforts, there was no way I could tail him. I hung my head - not only had my best friend died, but I had failed to enact vengeance upon his killer. Shoulders heavy, eyes weary, I began the long walk home.
I was almost there, when look who comes running up! "Mate!" I I said. "I thought you were dead!""Long story short - I'm important, like real important, so I can't die," Speaker mumbled." I learnt awesome fighting skillz in the 31st Century and made out with a Mik Elbissop hologram. It was awesome. But now I'm back, because there's a new problem...."
Namaste