Hey, and if you're an Australian ninja and sitting down, prepare to need only the front third of your chair because the news I have for you is going to leave you on edge. I received three boxes this morning, addressed To Ninja from the US...
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I busted one of those suckers open, skewered an Apollo bar wrapper and got my photo up on WhereIsAlvar.com - go check me out. I'm the one that's a badass ninja. I didn't eat the chocolate, nor have I yet - I'm waiting and making up my mind. But I was faced with a challenge - now that Speaker had come through, I have to pass on the goods and there are so many ninjas took keep track of! I've been on the phone and the net all day, calling in EVERY favour I had up my sleeve, and I think you're going to like how things are going to go down. Before I jump into these details, if I don't have your location listed, standby - this was as much as I could organise in a single day!
THE GREATEST HEIST IN HISTORY COMES TO YOUR CITY
As I said, I called in a lot of favours. Being a ninja, I'm constantly looking for danger and conspiracies, not unlike an awful lot of you. I meet people at conventions all the time, eager to learn and help deliver the truth. Today, I called in those favours to friends from the best, most trustworthy comic book stores I've visited on my many travels. They'll be keeping them safe, but if you ask at the counter with the coded phrase I'll give you in a moment - you will receive one Apollo bar! I've sent a batch of Apollos to the following stores: SYDNEY: KING COMICS, PITT ST
BRISBANE: COMICS ETC, ELIZABETH ST
PERTH: QUALITY COMICS, HAY ST
MELBOURNE: MINOTAUR, ELIZABETH ST
CANBERRA: IMPACT COMICS, EAST ROW
I sent the packages today, so *fingers crossed* we should start getting some Apollo action around Aus late in the day tomorrow. I'll post in the comments below to let you know when I hear that each place has received the truth and is ready to spread it!
You'll need to go in and, after checking the coast is clear, ask whoever is behind the counter "What did one snowman say to the other?" We need a code to know you're not working for Hanso, because if I get busted having lifted and shifted all this... Stealth, ninjas, is the keyword here. Provided everything goes smoothly, you'll be walking out of there one Apollo bar richer. Run home, take your photo and put it up on WhereIsAlvar.
What you do with it after that is up to you. Do you eat it and chance it? Do you keep it and run tests on it? Do you stab it with your katana and howl into the sunset, cursing the name of Mittelwerk for all to hear?
THE GREATEST HEIST IN HISTORY HITS THE ROAD
What, you thought that was it? C'mon, I'm a freaking ninja. I party, I rock. If you've been in one of our crazy Messenger chats, you've probably heard me assume my DJ NINJA stance as hanso_ninja. Those connections paid off for you Sydney folks prepared to chase down some Apollos, believe!I made some calls and arranged that the 104.1 2DAYFM and 104.9 TRIPLEM BLACK THUNDERS, the guys out on the road, will have a box with them! I don't have the times for when they'll be out, you'll have to listen it to find out. You can try and catch them this weekend at the following places:
THURS 31: DOLLY TEEN CHOICE AWARDS - LUNA PARK - from 7pm til 10pm - 2DAYFM
SAT 2: DICK SMITH's in ASHFIELD (1 hour) 2DAYFM
SAT 2: NEWLINE BUILDING SUPPLIES in DURAL (2 hours) TRIPLEM
SUN 3: SCG (1 hour) TRIPLEM
Same coded password to be used here folks. We can't be too careful.
THE GREATEST HEIST IN HISTORY COMES TO YOU
Those of you who live in remote areas that have emailed me, fear not. I won't forget you and the kind messages you've sent me - I'm going to try and post some out. I will have more news on this phase tomorrow. I'm sorry I couldn't get to it today but, well, I'm exhausted! Check back tomorrow, I'll have updates and more news, I promise. This truly is one mega-heist.
To lighten my super-serious mood, I rewatched Conan O'Brien's awesome Emmy awards opening sketch, with an awesome LOST shout-out and even an appearance by Jorge Garcia aka Hurley! LOST got completely snubbed by the Emmys. Pffft. That is all I'll say on the matter, because otherwise I'll get worked up again.... At least I can keep hoping we'll find a new glyph and fill up more slots on HansoExposed. Did you check the Anti-Hanso, Pro-Ninja poster the SHADE guys made? Pretty sweet, cheers guys, and a big shout out to emma_the_sleepy, who managed to stay sharp long enough to grab the pic of the flyer on the loose in Melbourne!And with that, I'm out. Seriously ninjas, who loves ya? :)
Namaste