Well you're not alone!

In the early stages of dating, it's easy to fall into the trap of making assumptions about the meaning behind what people say or do. We feel insecure and vulnerable and think we need to be on the look-out to ensure we don't get hurt. The problem is we're coming from the attitude of 'guilty until proven innocent' rather than 'innocent until proven guilty'. As a result, we often jump to the worst possible conclusion of what something means. And most of the time we're completely wrong!

The meaning behind people's actions, responses and words can never be read into and worked out logically by someone else as there is always an infinite array of possible interpretations. When we make assumptions, we waste an undue amount of energy worrying and end up sabotaging opportunities that could have been fabulous had we only waited or asked for the truth.

Certainly never ignore gut feelings about things or outright offensive behaviour. We all deserve respect and you know in your heart when something's not right! What you do want to eliminate is the second guessing, reading into things, failing to give people the benefit of the doubt, coming from a place of fear, and wasting excess energy and strain stressing over possible make-believe consequences. When you're able to let go of making assumptions the dating process becomes much more enjoyable, you become more open and less defensive, and allow relationships to gain the much desired momentum.

Refuse to Indulge in Assumptions, Ever
Decide to let go of make-up scenarios and possibilities about what someone is thinking or doing. Remind yourself that there are infinite possibilities and that you really don't know the person's intention. Give them the benefit of the doubt (unless of course they've proved they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt). Catch yourself when you make assumptions and simply choose to let it go.

Honesty Is Always the Best Policy
With an honest relationship there's no room for assumptions. Rather than make assumptions, seek the truth. If you're concerned or confused, ask for clarity. Through being honest yourself you'll find most people in turn become more open and honest with you. Granted there are some disgracefuls out there, but generally people will follow your lead. Quite simply, be the type of person you want to attract!

Speak Up About What You Want
If you don't want people playing games, be upfront about your expectations. Too often people are afraid to speak up about what they want and instead sit behind closed doors worrying and wishing. Start learning to become an effective and assertive communicator, demand good communication from others and you'll notice that the need for assumption-making slips away.

Maintain an Attitude of Playfulness
Don't take it all so seriously! Your date is just a human being with all sorts of quirks, strengths and flaws. If you pounce on any action and try to read into what it means, you simply won't enjoy yourself, and what fun is that?